The last few days have been crazy, and this will probably not get posted for a few weeks as I have a strong suspicion that wifi hasn't made it to Lao yet.
Anyway where to begin.
I had my ticket to Lao all booked ages ago, and although I had asked Glen about visa requirements earlier in the month I found myself completely unprepared the night before when I discovered that the visa at the border was not what I had thought. I needed passport photos, $US in cash and a photocopy of my passport, none of which I had. The airport in Bangkok when I finally got there was complete fucking madness, no-one had a clue where to stand, Israeli's were loosing their cool and being ignored by Thai airways staff all over the place (a situation I would normally have enjoyed).
Finally got checked in only to join another queue to pay departure tax and a third queue to get through border control, and these were not small lines, they were queues for Africa, I swear you could have read half of "Harry Potter and the half blood prince" in those queues.
I got through the marathon of check in only to discover the passport photo machine on the other side was out of order, and the post office did not have a photocopy machine. Finally I found a money change (yay) I could at least get the currency, and while I was changing money I spied a photocopy machine in the bank (double yay) but of course it was out of order! So then I sniffed about till I found another bank and begged them for a photocopy which they begrudgingly did, the copy was so dark you could hardly make out if the photo was O.J. Simpson or me, but I lovingly folded it into my passport and thought well that would just have to do. As I headed for my departure gate I spied a photo shop where you can photoshop yourself shaking hands with Chirac or hugging George W. Bush (even as an ironic gesture this makes my skin crawl). and they agreed to do me some passport photos. yay my bacon was saved! I finally got to my gate as my flight was boarding, for the first time in my life I was relieved that my flight had been delayed!
Breakfast was macaroni prawns and fruit salad, mind you by this stage I was starving (and little did I realize it would be the last sniff of food I would have for quite sometime). When we arrived in Vientiane the queue for a visa was huge and I queued once to hand over the paper work and a second time to pay and get my passport back, the visa is not the 30 day one I would have got if I had, had my head together, anyway, it is what it is, so I decide not to go to Vientiane at all but to head straight up to Luang Prabang and went directly to the bus terminal, where there is no queue but the bus is an hour later than I expect it to be, so I wait. With a German called Klaus, I swear that must be John in German, you can never travel anywhere in the world and not come across at least one Klaus.
Finally I get on the bus, you know that expression "hell on wheels" I think I know the bus that guy who coined it was on, it looks benign enough but the roads, I haven't been on roads like that in a loooong time. Apparently once (according to the satanic verses) it was all sealed and the trip took 7 hours. Well I say bullshit Mr Lonely planet, it takes 10-11 hours, every little while you come across a couple of meters where the "sealed road" has been torn up, then sealed rd then another torn up bit, I think it may actually be deliberate, to slow the traffic when it reaches built up areas.
The scenery is fantastic, but what the hell is up with the guy in the seat opposite, the guy who has an AK47 which he is clumsily attempting to conceal under his adidas jacket, is he protection for the bus? I wonder, he has a marvelous collection of tacky tattoos (which I bet no-one hassles him about). As the journey progresses he gets less concientious in his efforts to hide it (and I ain't talking about the tattoos), by the end of the trip he is openly wearing it over his jacket each time he gets off the bus to take a piss. What worries me more is his habit of taking it off and propping it in the corner as he sleeps and the bus lurches around terrifying corners and makes squealing stops in order to avoid accidents, I hope it has a "safety" and it's on. (I also quietly hope he is not involved with some kind of armed insurgence group or other).
In my experience when traveling every time your vehicle comes to a halt it is descended on by a bunch of rabid vendors plying their trade, usually water, soft drinks, beer, chicken on a stick, sticky rice in banana leaves, 100 year old eggs, balut, well you get the picture, in Lao I recommend you pack a lunch or at least buy some fruit, man was I pleased I had bought that bottle of water at the station or I would have died. We finally stopped for dinner and you know I thought about going to the bathroom as I bought another bottle of water, I even heard my Mother's voice telling me I should but you know it. So anyway then it got dark and the road became really windy, the scenery was still really cool, every time we passed through a village at least, lots of houses along the road had families sitting about their kerosene lamps, drinking, watching the world go by, I really needed to go to the bathroom, and now I was getting nauseous, the bus stopped and I leapt of
Not a toilet in sight, in fact the bus stopped often and all the blokes would get off and piss, There were no women on the bus so I was unsure of etiquette, I just couldn't get with the idea of pissing in public and I didn't want to risk wandering off the road at night where I have no clue about the wildlife or the precipitousness of the surrounding area, so, I still really needed to go. On the bus went more higgeldy, and more giggledy, at least the lights were off so I had the privacy of my personal nightmare and did I mention it was cold, up here in the mountains it is cold at night, (well less cold tonight actually), The cold always makes people more inclined to want to go to the bathroom. Now I am getting thirsty, halfway through my second bottle of water I had for obvious reasons stopped consuming water, being in Lao at this time of year is like being inside a giant dust cloud, I feel like pigpen from the old peanuts cartoons, my throat is drying up, I feel nauseous, my head is starting to feel dehydrated and did I mention I am dying to go to the bathroom.
Luang Prabang is a nice village, I think a big part of the appeal of Lao is that it still feels very much like a bunch of villages, it's all very laid back and there are monks everywhere, there seems to be a very large temple to people ratio (32 temples), The temple on the hill in the middle of town has fantastic views, and somebody was playing one of those big drums in the drum house while I was there. I wandered down to see a Buddha in a cave, their was a very freaky hindu fakir sitting in front of it which I mistook for a real person, the Lao people love caves, absolutely obsessed with caves.
There is a number of "eco tour" and "adventure tour" places which proudly advertise how they won't take you to "Pa Ouk caves or any where else tourists go"! I find it hard to believe that anyone actually thinks this is any more authentic than any other kind of package tour. I get tired of the card carrying anti-tourist "travelers" (I guess I am no longer one of them) out to see the last poor little group of hill tribe people who have not yet seen white people and then bemoan the fact that there is no where left undiscovered or untainted by tourism, after all what do they think they are doing by seeking these tribes out?
Having said that I met a guy today who had bought a boat up in Chiang Khong and sold it down here in Luang Prabang, it took four days (paddling) and they didn't kill themselves in the rapids or trash the boat too badly, I have always wanted to get a boat and go down the Mekong, the trouble of course is that the mekong runs mostly along borders of countries and that makes getting permission is sticky, perhaps this is a good alternative trip.
There is a really cool morning food market down by the mekong where locals use a plastic bag tied to a stick as a fly switch that they flick constantly over their wares, let me tell ya it's things like that which make me glad I'm a vegetarian. One of the things I love about the old French colonies, they sure do have good bread, (draw backs of course include that they are full of French tourists (who have no excuse for behaving as if they are God's chosen people). Breakfast though is a joy, no sweet bread or macaroni prawns here.
I went to tat kuang si today, a pretty waterfall 32 km out of town much like a domesticated version of Erawan, it has those blue pools which I think must be the result of all the silica from the limestone. It was a nice way to spend the day, chilling out. They also had a cage of my favourite bears, sunbears, I love the way they always look like they have just had their snout in the honey pot, the bears were a little scruffy but at least they looked well fed.
I got back to Luang prabang in time to watch the sunset and people bathing in the mekong, there I discovered a night market had sprung up down one of the main streets, it was huge, where have all these people come from, tourism is a deceptively large industry in Lao, the happy hour is more a wry grin hour, as drinks are only discounted by 2,000 kip (trust me that ain't much), 10,000 kip to the $US. But the food stall buffet is amazing, all you can eat for $0.50, and it's all vegetarian, (meat is extra). This is so nice after Thailand where trying to get vegetarian food is sometimes impossible, (even when you have just had a discussion about being a vegetarian with them). bought some fresh fruit and I better finish writing this now as I have an early start to the caves tomorrow.
N.J.
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