Bangkok 05 December

Wow, hard to believe, I left Australia a little over a year ago, it seems like a very long time ago. Christmas is nearly here and I have just finished last years christmas card (oops). So you can all enjoy 2006 again (yay).

I teach with a guy, lets call him Charlie (because that's his name), he came to me the other day covered in nasty puss filled spots, he said they weren't itchy, he had a temperature, he felt tired and nauseous, I told him to go to the Doctor. The Doctor told him he had a "chalk allergy", I love it a teacher with a chalk allergy, of course after a week on the antihistamines he went for a second opinion, "German measles", I can barely wait to hear what it will be diagnosed as next week.

Anyway, Today was the Kings birthday, which was a big deal all over Bangkok, I believe their will be fireworks tonight at the Grand Palace and who all knows what else but I'm sure it will be wizard, with lashings of ginger beer all round! I have spent the day wrestling photoshop to the ground creating the aforementioned christmas card, (I must learn how to use photoshop one day soon).

My friend Sam is back (yay) this time without his Mother (yay), this time with his cousin Scarlet (double yay). So after one false start (the weekend before when we managed to not meet up by getting together on seperate nights, yes about as complicated as that sounds). This time to avoid any confusion I went and meet Sam and Scarlet at their current cat-sitting place of kippering. We headed to Ari BTS and were sucked into a dim sim / Yum cha kind of place The Shrimp Har gao was great, the crab won tons brilliant, the chicken feet Scarlet and I elected to leave to Sam who had inadvertently (I think) ordered them by using a Thai menu instead of the English one.



After lunch we headed to the Snake farm in Silom, we confidently crossed the road brushing aside the "scam guy" who was trying to tell us the Snake farm was closed (ho, ho, I've heard that one before). A helpful lady on the other side of the road hurried us toward the Snake farm, we got there to discover, oh no, scam guy was right, it really was closed. Sam I have discovered has zero tolerance for sticky Bangkok, we jumped in a cab and cruised together with Huey Lewis and Gwenth Paltrow all the way across town to the Grand Palace, (Go Bkk radio whose English language station is suffocating under a duvet with a heart warming '90s family sitcom).

The Grand Palace (was open) the Emerald Buddha is smaller than I expected but the wat it is enclosed in is stunningly ornate, A small dude sat in the corner meticulously repainting the gold on the walls oblivious to the revolving film of tourists who wander in, pay their respects, and wander out again. How many tons of gold paint and glittery shimmering coloured chips have been used in the Grand Palace is anyones guess. There are buddhas you can make merit with, done by applying thin gold leaf which creates a flaky sort of King Midas with eczema effect. There are Hindu Bulls with feeding troughs of waxy candles in front of them, Huge ornate demigods with impressive lower canines and Singhas with real butt holes engraved under their tails.

There were some chaps looking terribly smart in white uniforms with lots of medals on, they were guarding about the place and we passed under the balcony where the King does his royal waving and such from on occasions such as today. We leapt into a taxi and Scarlet realised she had bought a lovely new purple skirt. We arrived in Khao san rd and I enjoyed a falafel roll while Sam bought cd's, we wandered to "Don da moon" and drank the first bottle of Thai whisky as the sun set. Again jumped in a taxi and headed to "Condoms and Cabbages" for dinner, expensive, but the money goes to a good cause and the christmas tree made out of coloured condoms (with a special star shaped tickler on top was worth seeing. From here I managed to get us lost twice before I heard a voice behind me.

It was one of the other guys I work with lets call him John (that's not his name). He showed us the way to Soi Cowboy and we found ourselves in Bacarra bar, lounge chairs in a circle around a small stage, the small stage has maybe half a dozen poles with at least twice that many bored looking Thai girls in Hawaian print Bikini tops and matching belts (which they were wearing as skirts). But the real reason people come here is so you can develop neck pain, the ceiling is made of glass and danced upon by girls in school uniform sans underwear, as the songs change they rotate which piece or pieces of clothing they wear, John was getting a crick in his neck, At some stage he and sam disappeared upstairs to sit "pool side" at that bar while Scarlet and I discussed politics (or something). Bacarra bar was an experience, women to me are much more attractive with there clothes on. Do men really find this erotic or do they just believe they should?
Finally made it home far too much Thai whisky later. Last image of the evening as "John" dropped me off home, watching Sam's image disappearing in the dust alone on a muggy dusty Thai high way. Sam did you make it home o.k? How was your hang over?